


Chat Noir's PSA

by sagansjagger



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Identity Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27854822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/pseuds/sagansjagger
Summary: The night after the heroes defeat Hawkmoth, Rena, Carapace, and Ladybug get plastered. Chat, who volunteered to be the designated driver of sorts, stays sober.He could really use a drink.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 30
Kudos: 132





	Chat Noir's PSA

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InkyCoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkyCoffee/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Lou!

"A-And I just don't get it," Ladybug said, slurring her words. She knocked back her second Long Island iced tea of the evening, starting to alarm Chat. "How could Hawkmoth be _Gabriel Agreste_?"

"I dunno, Ladybug," Rena said, sipping her mojito. "He could have been anyone."

 _Anyone,_ Chat thought ruefully, his clawed hands gripping his water. He'd foolishly volunteered ages ago to be the 'designated driver' for the evening and had to stay sober, though the night after Hawkmoth's defeat, Chat wanted nothing more than to get plastered. _But of course Hawkmoth had to be him._

Carapace swayed on his bar stool. "You'd think--right?--I mean you'd think Hawkmoth would have been like… Nadja Chamack or somebody."

Ladybug laughed a little too loudly and a little too long. "Nadja Chamack? Hawkmoth is a boy!"

"He's not a boy," Rena said, and Chat wondered just how drunk she was. She had a good handle on her alcohol, usually, but tonight she'd had several drinks. "Hawkmoth is a _man._ Isn't he?"

"You know what I meant," Carapace said, gesturing with his copper mug and slopping his Moscow mule over the edges onto his green-gloved hand. "Somebody high profile."

Chat's voice was scathing, dripping condescension. "Gabriel Agreste isn't high profile enough?"

Ladybug sighed. "Poor Adrien."

 _Poor Adrien?_ Chat thought, his gaze snapping to her. _That's… personal. Does she know me?_

The rest of the group fell silent, until Carapace spoke up again. "Press F in the chat for Adrien Agreste."

"Press F," Ladybug said, followed by Rena. 

Chat reluctantly said the words as well. He hated pity and the morning had been filled with people expressing their condolences and him giving statements to the police on both sides of the mask. His only comfort about the situation was that he wasn’t a helpless fourteen-year-old anymore; no, he was twenty-two and an adult male in his prime. Gabriel couldn’t touch him.

And he now owned the Agreste brand, as well as the house and all of Gabriel’s assets. Chat, a struggling university student, was a millionaire overnight. He even possessed a private jet.

“I still don’t know why Hawkmoth did all this, you know?” Ladybug said, raising her hand to get the bartender’s attention. The superheroes were alone in the bar, as the owner had closed it for the evening specifically to allow the heroes a break. Chat planned to make a sizable donation with his ill-gotten funds. “I mean, what an elaborate plan to accomplish… what?”

“Right?” Carapace said as the bartender approached them. Ladybug ordered a pineapple and mango rum cocktail, and Chat ordered a round of water for everyone. “No one knows and he’s not talking.”

Rena frowned, resting her elbow on the bar and her chin on her hand. “Even if we did know, would it matter?”

“Of course it wouldn’t,” Chat said peevishly. “Hawkmoth needed to go down. Guys, please, please drink some water.”

Ladybug squinted at Chat. “Hmph. Always tryin’ ta get me to drink water, aren’t you, Chat?”

Chat booped her on the nose. “Go home, Ladybug, you’re drunk.”

She wrinkled her nose and slung an arm around Rena, who sat on the opposite side of her as Chat. “Whaddya think, Rena? Are we drunk?”

“We’re pretty drunk, yeah,” Rena said, and Ladybug disengaged from her with a quiet, “Traitor.”

Carapace laughed. Chat didn’t.

The bartender placed Ladybug’s cocktail in front of her, and she seized upon it and sucked it down greedily. “Ohh, yeah, that hits the spot.”

“Now will you drink some water?” Chat said, hating how grumpy he sounded. He wanted his friends to have fun, to celebrate the defeat, but getting drunk sounded like a lot more pleasant of an activity when one could actually drink.

“Chat,” Ladybug said seriously, taking his face in her hands and squeezing his cheeks. “I love you.”

Chat sighed. “I love you, too, Bug.”

Rena and Carapace smooched. “I love you, too, Chat,” Carapace said, and Rena followed with, “We all do.”

“No, no, no, no, no, you’re not getting me,” Ladybug slurred, shaking her head rapidly. “I _love_ you. Love, love, love. Isn’t that a funny word? Love? It totally doesn’t sound like a word anymore.”

Chat took her hands in his and lowered them from his face. He smiled at her, stroking her the backs of her knuckles with his thumbs. “I know you do, Bug. Now will you drink water?”

Ladybug groaned. Then she leaned forward and pecked him on the lips, tasting of rum. Chat gasped. “I’m trying to tell you I love you, you mangy alley cat. I don’t have time to drink water.”

“There’s always time to drink water,” Chat said, letting go of her hand and picking up her water glass. He pressed it to her lips and tipped the glass back.

Ladybug sputtered, letting water dribble down her front. “I’m not thirsty.” Then she grabbed the glass from him and drained it. “Except when I am. Man, that was some good water.”

“Hey, me too, me too,” Carapace said, joining in on the water drinking. Rena slugged him in the shoulder and started sipping hers. Chat breathed a sigh of relief.

“You all are going to have wicked hangovers,” Chat said, wrinkling his nose. “I am sorry for Future You Guys.”

“Noooo,” Ladybug said, holding her head. “I don’t wanna have a hangover. Chat! Chase away my hangover. Cataclysm my head.”

“Chat can’t do that!” Rena said, her jaw dropping. “Chat loves you!”

“Chat does,” he said, brushing her knuckles with his lips. “Chat loves you very much, Bug.”

She held his gaze, her eyes blown wide and her pupils dilated in the dim lighting. “Chat…”

“Oooooh,” Rena said, reaching across Ladybug to ruffle Chat’s hair. “You are such a casanova.”

“Now kiss,” Carapace said, making Chat sigh again. 

But Ladybug seemed to take the command to heart: she closed the distance between them, tentatively gliding her lips across his. Chat pulled back, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

“I’m flattered, Bug,” he murmured, gently pressing a kiss to her cheek. She turned her head to try to capture his lips again, and Chat turned his so she’d kiss his cheek instead. “But you’re drunk.”

Ladybug frowned. “I’m not that drunk.”

Chat smirked. “Prove it.”

***

"Remember, kids," Chat Noir said in his best PSA voice to Rena and Carapace as all three watched Ladybug swing across the street and crash into a chimney, "don't drink and yo-yo."

Rena giggled, as did Carapace. Chat cupped his hands around his mouth and called, “You okay there, Buginette?”

Ladybug offered him a thumbs up as she slid down the chimney, landing on her butt on the roof. She lay down on the shingles, seeming content to just… stay there.

Chat pole-vaulted himself across the street to land beside her. Rena and Carapace struggled to get to the roof, but less so than Ladybug, whom Chat crouched down by. 

She laughed at him. “Chaaaat. Chat. I am so drunk? Did you know I could get this drunk?”

Chat ran his clawed fingers through her hair. “I figured you could, Bug.”

She pressed her head into his hand in an implicit demand for comfort. “But you know what?”

Carapace dropped into place beside Chat, leaning heavily on Rena. 

“What?” Chat said to Ladybug as she pulled him closer by his cheeks.

“I am in love,” she whispered, “with Adrien Agreste.”

Chat froze. 

“What’d she say?” Rena said, placing a hand on Chat’s back. “She’s in love with soldiers at rest?”

“No!” Ladybug shouted, beaming up at Chat with the most beatific expression. “I’m in love with Adrien Agreste!”

Chat stumbled backwards. He tripped over his own feet and landed on his butt. 

Carapace knelt beside him. “You okay there, my man?”

Chat buried his face in his hands. “I think I need a drink.”

***

At their next patrol meetup on their usual roof the morning after their drunk escapades, Rena started chortling. “And then you said you were in love with Adrien Agreste!”

Rena had sobered up and taken Ladybug home the night before, which Chat was still bitter about. It didn’t seem fair to him that Rena could know Ladybug’s identity but he couldn’t, and him being the designated driver didn’t make any sense. _I could have gotten drunk._

Ladybug groaned, rubbing her temples. “Am I never going to live that down? And if I do, can I live it down _quietly_?”

Chat didn’t know whether he should be smug or concerned. Smucerned? He tried for a mixture of both and ended up smirking. “It’s okay, Bug, I forgive you,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “After all, lots of people love Adrien Agreste.”

Carapace chuckled, pressing an ice pack to his head. He was the only hero smart enough to bring one. “Yesss, but she’s _in_ love with him.”

Ladybug twisted her hands. “So, how about that weather? Been kind of… you know… bland, lately?”

“Bland!” Rena said, dissolving into giggles. “You’re a card, Ladybug.”

“I don’t know!” Ladybug said, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m trying to throw you all off the scent of my massive crush!”

Chat raised his brows. “Massive crush?” He poked Ladybug in the side, who jumped. “How big is massive? Inquiring minds want to know.”

“Oh, why do you care?” Ladybug grumbled. “It’s not like you’re him.”

Chat blinked. He rubbed the back of his head. "Y-Yeah, that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it."

Ladybug stilled.

Rena stepped forward and peered at him. "Adrien?"

"Is that you, bro?" Carapace said, raising his brows.

"No, no way," Ladybug stammered, her gloved hand flying to her mouth. "Tell me I didn't just…"

Chat wanted, more than anything, for all the secrets to be over. He'd been doing a lot of sighing over the past few days, and that didn't show any signs of stopping: he sighed again. "It's me."

"Huh!" Carapace said, seeming amused more than anything. "I guess that makes sense. Sorry about your dad, dude."

"You really did need that drink," Rena said, grimacing.

Ladybug stepped forward, placing a trembling hand on Chat's chest. She stared up at him with wide, searching eyes, as if she could plumb the depths of his soul just by looking at him. "Adrien? Is it really you?"

"Yeah, Bug," Adrien said, rubbing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "It's me." He gulped. "Do you… actually like me?"

Ladybug flushed. "I…" She nibbled her lip. "I do. But I also loved you as Chat."

Rena sucked a breath over her teeth. "Is my Ladynoir ship sailing?"

Chat smiled. "That's up to the lady."

Carapace laughed. "Smooth."

Ladybug leaned forward and pecked Chat on the lips. "Yeah," she said, her eyes shining. "Yeah, let's do it."

Rena looped an arm around Ladybug's shoulders and tugged her away from him. Rena whisper-shouted, tipping her head towards Chat. "So are you gonna reveal your identity to him?"

"Hey, now," Chat said, holding up his hands. "Whether she reveals herself is up to her. If she wants to tell me who she is, I wouldn't mind, but the decision should be--"

"Marinette," Ladybug said, pulling away from Rena and Carapace and wrapping her arms around Chat's neck. "I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

The entirety of Chat's focus narrowed down to her pretty, pink lips. "Marinette?" he whispered. "You're Marinette Dupain-Cheng?"

She nodded. 

"Oh…" Chat drew a deep breath. "I wanted it to be you."

Rena chuckled. “Yeah, M. I told you he’d be okay with this.”

Carapace flashed them a thumbs up. "No wonder you liked Adrien."

"Wha--" Chat started, until Ladybug tugged him into a searing kiss that curled his toes. He laughed against her mouth. "I could get used to this."

"Don't, Kitty," Ladybug said, grinning up at him. "All our kisses should be like new."

Chat chuckled. "Then I won't. Promise."

"Kiss me again, Chat," Ladybug commanded.

So Chat did.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr at [@sing-in-me-oh-muse](https://sing-in-me-oh-muse.tumblr.com)!
> 
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